


All the things I never said

by obviouslyderanged



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Letters, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyderanged/pseuds/obviouslyderanged
Summary: Archie is not known for his words, but its time to make up for some lost opportunities.Set after the breakup (S3)





	All the things I never said

How are the onion rings here?  
Veronica, when I saw you, you were it for me. How terrifying to meet someone like you, how desperately I tried to stamp out the butterflies in my stomach. The force of you hit me like the gusts of wind that pre-empt a hurricane. All I could do was resign myself to getting caught up in you. I felt the world slow down, music playing in my ears, but otherwise not a sound. I couldn’t even pretend to pay attention to what Betty said, I couldn’t pretend that anything other than you was important to me at all right then.   
“Veronica Lodge.” You said, as if it wasn’t the most wonderful name ever.   
“Archie Andrews.” I replied, and I wished it could have been something more exotic, but then you smiled at me and all that doubt seemed to melt away.   
You were so Breakfast at Tiffany’s, not a hair out of place, you were mysterious and I was, and am, enamoured by you. 

We messed up  
“No, stop.” I wanted to say, but I didn’t. I knew you were right. Betty was upset and it wouldn’t have been okay to have left her, but I didn’t want you to go. Who would have ever thought a big-city girl like you, so put together and formidable, would ever want a small-town guy like me? Stuff like that only happens in the movies. Everything I had ever waited to feel with Betty, to know if I could be what she wanted me to, hit me all at once the moment your lips met mine. And just like that I was meant to let you go? I didn’t want to lose Betty, she is my best friend, and what kind of person would I have been to pursue you over her? But I can’t lie because for a moment, for a pretty good long moment, I truly wanted to. 

The Jay to my Bey  
Everything happened so fast it was like a whirlwind. You wouldn’t let me explain, I knew you didn’t want to, you were doing me a favour, and then I made it so you didn’t have to. How was I the bad guy here? You didn’t actually want to do this with me, right? Val and I, we-, well I don’t know what we were or what we were doing. It was just nice to have someone to talk about music with, someone who could help me out and jam with me. And then watching you walk down the hall, with your head held high and those cute little kitten ears perched perfectly on your head, I felt something drop low in my heart. I was sorry to exclude you, I never wanted you to feel like I didn’t want you. I have never not wanted you. 

Our moment never happened.  
Hungover, head aching, and cleaning my dad’s house to make sure he wouldn’t find out about that out-of-control mess of a party was the last thing I wanted to be doing on Sunday morning, but the events of last night kept running through my head; not Cheryl and Chuck or Jughead or the secrets everyone spilled. You and me. You in my arms, your soft lips kissing mine, you asleep in my bed. I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. Come Monday morning and all I felt was uncontrollable excitement to see you, to hear your heels click as you walked toward me down the hallway. In my head it happened so differently, you didn’t cast everything that happened aside, you didn’t tell me that it was better for us to be apart. I knew there was no way that could be true. How did I come this close to getting you, only to have you tell me it was a mistake again? 

And Archie Andrews is there with a smile  
It broke my heart to see you so frantic, I wasn’t even sure what we were looking for anymore. You seemed determined to believe that if we couldn’t find it, it was for lack of trying. I wanted you to see how this was a win for us, that finding nothing didn’t mean this was a waste of time. And then you kissed me again, and all the no’s you had tried to build up like a wall between us were redundant. That time when you kissed me, I know you felt it too. That there was something between us that couldn’t be ignored. I was jolted back to reality when that car drove up, sadly I had to let that moment end. 

A soulmate?  
Could it be real? Did you say what I thought you said? How could I ever stop smiling? ‘She wants to be with me!’ I wanted to scream to everyone. I had almost thought it would never happen, there were too many times it seemed too impossible, too many things stood between us, too many mistakes made, so much else going on. So much else going on, on top of the fact that you are sophisticated, glamourous, so sure of yourself, so confident in who you are and I am none of those things. In this moment I didn’t care about that at all though, my face held by those perfectly painted fingers, I felt nothing short of invincible. With you by my side, that has always been how I felt. 

It matters to me + we have to hold on to each other  
I could’ve sworn I was losing my mind. I didn’t feel like myself anymore, merely like a body that held only rage. It became impossible for me to focus on anything at all, I had almost lost my dad, my rock and everything good I have known about the world since my childhood. I was fixated, destructive, and somehow you brought me back from that a little. I honestly didn’t thank you enough for hiding the gun from me, I am scared to this day to think of what I may have done if it weren’t for you. I spent so much time desperately trying to protect everyone, and I put so many people in danger. It turned out that this whole time, and for much more time to come, you protected me. You were so strong, and yet such a comfort to me. I never thanked you enough, Ronnie. 

I can’t let myself go there with you   
Perhaps this one is not about something I should have said but didn’t. Perhaps this is about something I should never have said. It wasn’t something I planned to say, I left home thinking how I was gonna give you time, I was okay with it. But I guess a little part of me hoped that when I said you didn’t have to say anything, you would say you did. I loved you, it broke me up that you wouldn’t say it too. Had this all been in my head? Was it not the same for you as it was for me? We were meant to be soulmates. I shouldn’t have let you walk away. It felt like I had barely had any time with you, and here I was losing you again. But I couldn’t make my feet move, I couldn’t make myself speak. I wanted to wrap you in my arms and tell you it was fine, but I didn’t do any of those things. I shouldn’t have let you run away from me. 

I love you too  
How weird it had been to see you and not be able to kiss you. Even though our romance felt so short, it was unbelievably hard to go back to any kind of normal. You walked up to me in class with a little smile playing on your face, gave me a gift, were you toying with me? Couldn’t you see it was breaking my heart? I dropped off your present at your parents’, I felt a little silly doing it, but you had given me mine, so it only seemed fair. I like to think it changed something for you, even if it didn’t. I like to think that you saw our photos and realised that we belong together. The only thing I should have said; I should have said it back. But, as per many times, you left me speechless. 

You’re my beacon in the night   
God you were so beautiful. I remember the first time I saw you in that dress, and don’t freak out, but all I could think is ‘I’m gonna marry her’. You were perfection, Ronnie. I wanted to be there for you always, whatever you needed me to be. I said most of what I wanted to say. I love you. I’m with you. 

Try not to choke on your own testosterone  
Watching you kiss Jughead was more than I could even bear. I know I deserved it, I know I shouldn’t have kissed Betty even though we were broken up. I still don’t even really know why I did it. I should have told you I was just jealous, seeing someone else touch you like that sent my body writhing. I should have told you about your dad and Andre, I shouldn’t have tried to keep it a secret from you, but I wanted to protect you too. I thought that it would help. I was lucky you forgave me so quickly, but you always were so forgiving. 

A taste of his own medicine   
God you were amazing. I was so frightened for you, for what he might do to you. I almost forgot who you were. I love that you don’t need me to protect you, although I am protective of you anyway. You had accomplished so many things, I loved seeing that rough, stand up, New York side of you poke out, first when you punched Nick, then when you roofied him and then held him for ransom. How was I ever lucky enough to meet someone like you? People like you just don’t come along every day. 

I am not letting my dad take away the one thing that I love  
I’m sorry I tried so hard to push you away, I just didn’t want you wasting your life on me. Since it has felt wasted on me anyway. You have so much to give, Veronica, so much more you could have offered the world as I was terrified to be the reason why you didn’t. You had so much more going on and I felt so guilty to think you would be wasting time crying over me. 

My name is Monica Posh   
I am so constantly impressed and surprised by you. 

Don’t make me say goodbye to you, Archie Andrews  
This was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever had to do. I should have said I would do everything in my power, anything and everything I could to make it back to you, Veronica. I love you, you are it for me. Out of all the things I ever said and didn’t say this is the one I regret the most. How foolish of me to think I could live without you, it was foolish to even try. There is a pull towards you I have always felt and cannot deny. True that not all those who wander are lost, but I have been lost completely without you.


End file.
